Cognitive-behavioral therapy books and websites:

  • I highly recommend the book Mind Over Mood, 2nd Edition, by Dennis Greenberger & Christine A. Padesky. Padesky maintains a related website at https://www.mindovermood.com/. The website has links to a selection of videos and audios that relate to Mind Over Mood, downloadable worksheets, FAQs, and more.
  • For a similar but slightly different approach to cognitive-behavioral therapy, I also recommend books and materials by Dr. David Burns. His website is https://feelinggood.com/, where you can find descriptions of his books as well as links to many free, useful resources, including his podcast and blog, free anxiety and depression courses, symptom rating scales, and worksheets called "Daily Mood Journal" and "Recovery Circle."
  • Thoughts and Feelings, by Matthew McKay, Martha Davis, & Patrick Fanning (I have the 4th edition and don't know if that's the most recent).
  • The Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Workbook for Personality Disorders, by Jeffrey C. Wood (even though it’s billed as being for people with personality disorders, it’s got good general information that would be useful for anyone).
  • The moodgym program (https://moodgym.com.au/) is like an interactive self-help book which helps you to learn and practice skills which can help to prevent and manage symptoms of depression and anxiety.
  • http://dbtselfhelp.com/ is a service for people seeking information about Dialectical Behavior Therapy, a form of cognitive-behavioral therapy that incorporates mindfulness and interpersonal effectiveness.

Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) books and websites:

Resources for learning about nonviolent communication (NVC):

  • Here's a wonderful 13 minute video that explains NVC, in particular vulnerable honesty: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LSGfqyhleUA
  • The publisher of official NVC books and pamphlets is Puddle Dancer Press (http://www.nonviolentcommunication.com/publisher/publisher.htm), and there are also some additional resources at this website.
  • Judy Burrill is a local NVC teacher and consultant whom I highly recommend:  http://com-matters.com/
  • Camp Stomping Ground is an overnight camp in the Catskills Mountains outside Binghamton, NY "building radically empathic communities through humble curiosity, personal responsibility, restorative practices, and unbounded curiosity." https://campstompingground.org/
  • Bay NVC (http://baynvc.org/) offers many free resources in its “Educational Materials,” including online audio, video, articles, and worksheets.
  • Brooklyn-based NVC consultant Dian Killian also has some good handouts and worksheets on her website: http://workcollaboratively.com/.
  • The NVC Academy offers telecourses and webinars, many of which include recordings and printed materials: http://nvctraining.com.
  • Each summer there's a week-long intensive workshop in NVC called the New York NVC Intensive. I attended the intensive in 2007 and found it so inspiring and informative; I highly recommend it. Here's the link: http://www.nvcboston.org/new-york-intensive/
  • The Center for Nonviolent Communication (http://www.cnvc.org) offers both resources and a listing of live in-person workshops and classes in NVC.

Miscellaneous online resources:

Family Communication, Parenting, and Children:

  • Motivational Interviewing (“MI”) is a communication style that health professionals use to talk with patients about making healthy changes, and it is based on the premise that the best way to influence another person’s behavior is by respecting their autonomy and creating space for them to explore their own ambivalence and (hopefully) motivation for change. Dr. Emily Kline and colleagues at Boston University have developed "MILO" (Motivational Interviewing for Loved Ones) and offer a free e-course called "The School of Hard Talks Online" (https://handholdma.org/what-can-i-do/the-school-of-hard-talks-online-lessons-from-motivational-interviewing-for-everyday-families) which you can do at your own pace to learn MILO skills. The e-course has 7 lesson, each of which takes about 10 minutes to complete. You can view the modules as many times as you like. Note: When you click on the link for each lesson, you'll get a black screen with three pulsating white dots, so it looks like it's taking a long time to load the page. However, if you just click anywhere on the black screen, the menu and first slide will appear along with various controls such as "NEXT" and "PREV." 
  • Here's a wonderful little article "10 Questions to Ask Your Kids at the Dinner Table" from On Our Sleeves: The Movement for Children's Mental Health: https://www.onoursleeves.org/mental-wellness-tools-guides/conversation-starters/dinner-table-conversation. This website also has lots of other how-to guides and resources.
  • Here are six more of the best parenting resources recommended by top developmental, clinical, and family psychologists: http://www.apa.org/monitor/2018/04/parenting-resources.aspx
  • Cornell Cooperative Extension has many family and parenting resources on their website (http://ccetompkins.org/family), and offers excellent parenting skills workshops periodically (http://ccetompkins.org/family/parenting-workshops).
  • The Organization for Psychoeducational Tutoring (OPT) is a nonprofit organization founded here in Ithaca and directed by psychiatrist Dr. Joseph Strayhorn: https://optskills.org/. OPT provides affordable, in-home tutoring by telephone to teach children psychological and academic skills that make life better, such as: temper control/handling frustration; focusing/getting things accomplished; being confident and brave; getting along with people/building friendships/being kind; get enjoyment out of things; making wise decisions; reading fluency; reading comprehension; and math.
  • Far from the Tree: Parents, Children, and the Search for Identity, by Andrew Solomon (https://andrewsolomon.com/books/far-from-the-tree/). Andrew Solomon tells the stories of parents who not only learn to deal with their exceptional children but also find profound meaning in doing so.

Couples, Friendships, and Relationships:

  • The Gottman Institute (https://www.gottman.com/) takes a research-based approach to relationships. I've taken the first level of their therapist training, and incorporate their methods in my work with couples. They have excellent books, videos, other resources, which you can order from the website. The website also offers information about workshops for couples and a directory of therapists who are trained in their methods.
  • Fair Play is a book and card deck by Eve Rodsky, which outlines a system for how to divide up household tasks fairly. There's also a documentary about it, and you can read about it at https://www.fairplaylife.com/.
  • Terry Real, founder of Relational Life Therapy and a couples therapist I admire very much, wrote a book published in 2022 called Us: Getting Past You & Me to Build a More Loving Relationship. You can read about his book and his approach, as well as access his resources, at his website, https://terryreal.com/.
  • The High-Conflict Couple: A Dialectical Behavior Therapy Guide to Finding Peace, Intimacy & Validation, by Alan E. Fruzzetti, Ph.D. (New Harbinger Publications, 2006). https://www.newharbinger.com/9781572244504/the-high-conflict-couple/
  • The Love Multiverse (https://lovemultiverse.com/) also provides scientifically-based advice, information, ideas, and suggestions on how to find and keep the love of your life.
  • The National Coalition for Sexual Health has launched this guide to address sexual concerns and increase pleasure: https://nationalcoalitionforsexualhealth.org/tools/communicating-to-the-public/a-guide-to-sexual-concerns-and-pleasure
  • Psychologist Marisa G. Franco, Ph.D., has written a book called Platonic: How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make--And Keep--Friends. Here's the book's website: https://drmarisagfranco.com/platonic-the-book/

Anxiety, Social Anxiety, Social Skills, Perfectionism, OCD (Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder):

  • When Perfect Isn't Good Enough, by Martin M. Antony & Richard P. Swinson
  • The Anti-Anxiety Program (Second Edition): A Workbook of Proven Strategies to Overcome Worry, Panic, & Phobias, Peter J. Norton and by Martin M. Antony (2021, Guilford Press)
  • This website, published by the American Psychological Association, offers tools and strategies for helping children and teens manage their stress and anxiety: https://www.apa.org/topics/child-development/stress
  • This website is loaded with useful information about adult anxiety disorders and how to effectively treat them: https://www.anxietycoach.com/.
  • https://www.anxieties.com/ is a free public service of distinguished psychologist Reid Wilson, Ph.D., who is director of the Anxiety Disorders Treatment Center in Chapel Hill, NC. The website includes free informative videos and other kinds of help. 
  • The Shyness & Social Anxiety Workbook, by Martin M. Antony & Richard P. Swinson
  • This website (https://www.succeedsocially.com/) has been helpful for people who feel anxious in social situations or feel that their social skills are weak.
  • Binghamton Anxiety Clinic (http://anxiety.binghamton.edu/) offers comprehensive anxiety assessment and cognitive-behavioral therapy for both adults and children suffering from Social Phobia or Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, with sliding scale fees.
  • I highly recommend books by Jon Hershfield, who is both an expert at treating OCD and an OCD sufferer himself. Hershfield's book The Mindfulness Workbook for OCD (https://www.newharbinger.com/9781684035632/the-mindfulness-workbook-for-ocd/) is one of the first to take a humane, gradual view of OCD treatment. Hershfield's key ideas include: Focus on being present with a trigger, but not emotionally reacting to it. Notice the disgust or fear, but don't engage with it. Don't over do it; take small steps.
  • Hershfield has two additional, excellent books: Everyday Mindfulness for OCD (https://www.newharbinger.com/9781626258921/everyday-mindfulness-for-ocd/) and The OCD Workbook for Teens (https://www.newharbinger.com/9781684036363/the-ocd-workbook-for-teens/). 
  • Self-compassion is a very important part of OCD treatment. Kristen Neff's website on self-compassion (https://self-compassion.org/) is a good overview.
  • Another important treatment strategy for OCD is a variety of Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy called ACT, which stands for Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. A core idea is to move toward doing more of what's important to you--what you want to be doing--instead of habituating to or tolerating distress. See Marisa T. Mazza's book The ACT Workbook for OCD (https://www.newharbinger.com/9781684032891/the-act-workbook-for-ocd/).
  • Yet another treatment strategy for OCD is called Inference-based Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (https://icbt.online/). This website has tons of resources and information.

Racism, Bias, and Discrimination:

  • "Tactics to disarm and neutralize microaggressions" is a brief article with practical strategies and examples of how to address microaggressions, from the Microintervention Toolkit developed by Derald Wing Sue, Ph.D., professor of psychology and education at Columbia University's Teachers College: https://www.apa.org/monitor/2023/07/tactics-microaggressions

Depression and Bipolar Disorder:

Insomnia:

Anger:

  • The Anger Management Workbook, by W. Robert Nay
  • Overcoming Anger in Your Relationship, by W. Robert Nay

Body Acceptance and Health at Every Size:

  • What We Don't Talk About When We Talk About Fat, by Aubrey Gordon. It shows how painful it can be as a fat person to have someone talk to you because they are "concerned about your health." Many fat people are healthy, but society does not assume that.
  • The Body is Not an Apology: The Power of Radical Self-Love, by Sonya Renee Taylor.
  • Here is a blog post with more great resources: https://danceswithfat.org/blog/blogs-i-love/.

Trauma and PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder):

Addictive/Habitual Behaviors (e.g., compulsive gambling, compulsive eating, substance abuse), and Motivation to Change:

Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), Autism, Neurodivergence:

  • Understand Your Brain, Get More Done: The ADHD Executive Functions Workbook, by Ari Tuckman. This is such a great book! I've recommended it to many clients. Dr. Tuckman also has a website called "More Attention, Less Deficit" at https://adultadhdbook.com/ and a podcast at https://adultadhdbook.com/more-attention-podcast/.
  • ADDitude magazine and website is a treasure trove of information for both adults and children; see https://www.additudemag.com/.
  • Jessica McCabe's How to ADHD website (https://howtoadhd.com/) and YouTube series (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC-nPM1_kSZf91ZGkcgy_95Q) provide evidence-based explanations and advice to hundreds of thousands of viewers--including women of color, transgender people, and other underrepresented groups--and have become a crucial support network for many.
  • The Work Smart Academic Planner (Revised Edition): Write It Down, Get It Done, by Peg Dawson and Richard Guare
  • Train Your Brain for Success: A Teenager's Guide to Executive Functions, by Randy Kulman
  • Parent-Teen Therapy for Executive Function Deficits and ADHD: Building Skills and Motivation, by Margaret H. Sibley
  • Scattered, by Gabor Mate, M.D.
  • The Neurodivergence Skills Workbook for Autism and ADHD: Cultivate Self-Compassion, Live Authentically, and Be Your Own Advocate, by Jennifer Kemp and Monique Mitchelson (New Harbinger Publications, 2024; https://www.newharbinger.com/9781648483073/the-neurodivergence-skills-workbook-for-autism-and-adhd/)

Websites with Transgender Resources:

  • Trans Lifeline (https://translifeline.org/) "provides trans peer support for our community that's been divested from police since day one. We're run by and for trans people." US (877) 565-8860.
  • https://www.genderspectrum.org/ "Gender Spectrum's mission is to create a gender-inclusive world for all children and youth. To accomplish this, we help families, organizations, and institutions increase understandings of gender and consider the implications that evolving views have for each of us." They have an online community for young people, family members, and professionals, and several support groups.
  • Trans-Cendence International has virtual support groups online for anyone under the transgender umbrella as well as significant others, family, friends, and allies (SOFFAs). It usually starts with a combined meeting of Trans and SOFFAs and then splits off. To participate, you would need to pre-register for a meeting at www.trans-cendence.org.
  • The website TransGenderPartners.com has extensive resources for significant others, friends, family, and allies of transgender people here: https://www.transgenderpartners.com/resource-for-partners-2.
  • The purpose of the website That's Gender Dysphoria, FYI (https://genderdysphoria.fyi/) is to "document the many ways that Gender Dysphoria can manifest, as well as the numerous forms of gender transition, in order to provide a guide for those who are questioning, those who are starting their transgender journey, those already on their path, and those who simply wish to be better allies."
  • Here's a nice, informative newsletter about nonbinary gender: https://emilynagoski.bulletin.com/nonbinary-is-so-normal/?section=comments.
  • Advocates for Trans Equality (A4TE; https://transequality.org/), which was established in 2024 as the merger of two leading national trans civil rights organizations, National Center for Transgender Equality (NCTE) and Transgender Legal Defense and Education Fund (TLDEF), has a Trans Health Project (https://transhealthproject.org/). At that website, you can learn how health insurance works and how to get the trans health care coverage to which you are entitled.
  • The Jim Collins Foundation offers support for trans affirming surgeries for those that might otherwise not afford them: https://jimcollinsfoundation.org/.
  • The New York Speech and Voice Lab, a speech-language pathology practice in NYC, has excellent information on its website, https://www.speechvoicelab.com/, about transgender voice and voice training.
  • The Callen Lourde Center has a short brochure called "Finding Your Voice: A Short Guide to Vocalization". Contact them at http://callen-lorde.org.
  • There's really good information about hormone therapy here: https://transcare.ucsf.edu/hormone-therapy. Here, you can find videos and their transcripts by Dr. Maddie Deutsch, the medical director of UCSF Transgender Care.
  • Here's a very comprehensive set of guidelines by Dr. Maddie Deutsch called "Guidelines for the Primary and Gender-Affirming Care of Transgender and Gender Nonbinary People": https://transcare.ucsf.edu/guidelines
  • Brave Space, a trans-affirming practice organization in Oregon, maintains an excellent resource page at https://www.bravespacellc.com/resources that includes information/instructions for planning surgery, self-injecting hormones, medical transition, amending identity documents, appealing insurance denials, coming out, coping with oppression, and more.
  • TransHealthCare is a free website that helps transgender individuals find surgeons who offer transgender surgery procedures: http://www.transhealthcare.org/
  • Gender Infinity has a resource database to help you find trans-affirmative locations near you. https://resource.genderinfinity.org/
  • The Empire Justice Center (https://empirejustice.org/) is an organization "making the law work for all New Yorkers." Among their services is helping transgender people change their legal name and gender marker.
  • “TransPulse” is a support and resource site for those on the transgender spectrum and their friends, family members, and allies. http://transgenderpulse.com
  • Trans Essentials (new name for what was FtM Essentials): http://www.ftmessentials.com
  • The World Professional Association for Transgender Health: http://www.wpath.org/
  • Gender Dysphoria Affirmative Working Group: https://www.gdaworkinggroup.com/
  • Planned Parenthood of the Southern Finger Lakes Transgender Hormone Therapy and Preventive Health Care Services: https://www.plannedparenthood.org/planned-parenthood-southern-finger-lakes/transgender1 (includes link to booklet Know-How: The Trans Person's Guide to Get or Change All of the Life Documents and Essential Paperwork You'll Need to Make Your Way in the World)
  • The Lesbian and Gay Family Building Project http://www.binghamton.edu/prideandjoyfamilies/index.html includes links to Directory of LGBTQ-Inclusive Services.
  • Original Plumbing: Trans Culture and Stuff http://www.originalplumbing.bigcartel.com/ (you can sign up for their newsletter, and also subscribe to their print magazine).
  • "All is Fair in Love and Wear" label makes underwear for people who are transitioning.  https://www.facebook.com/allisfairinloveandwear
  • The Gender Identity Research and Education Society is a UK-based organization with a huge number of resources here: http://www.gires.org.uk/resources
  • Brave Space, LLC, has a comprehensive planning guide for clients pursuing gender affirming surgeries, a families in transition flyer, and additional downloadable resources at  http://www.bravespacellc.com/resources

Books about Transgender Issues:

  • Trans Bodies, Trans Selves: A Resource for the Transgender Community, by Laura Erickson-Schroth
  • Transition and Beyond, Observations on Gender Identity, by Reid Vanderburgh
  • The Transgender Guidebook: Keys to a Successful Transition, by Anne L Boedecker PhD
  • The Gender Quest Workbook: A Guide for Teens and Young Adults Exploring Gender Identity, by Rylan Jay Testa PhD (Author), Deborah Coolhart PhD LMFT (Author), & 3 more
  • The Reflective Workbook for Partners of Transgender People: Your Transition as Your Partner Transitions, by D. M. Maynard
  • My Trans Parent: A User Guide for When Your Parent Transitions, by Heather Bryant. When a parent transitions, the whole family transitions. Providing tips and advice, information on gender identity and transitioning, and a wealth of real-life stories, this book will guide you through your realative's transition, and your own.
  • Thriving Through Transition: Self-Care for Parents of Transgender Children, by Denise O'Doherty
  • He/She/They: How We Talk About Gender and Why It Matters, by Schyler Bailar. https://www.buffalostreetbooks.com/book/9780306831874
  • Transgender Journeys, by Virginia Ramey Mollenkott and Vanessa Sheridan (for Christian transgender people to accept themself)
  • What Does God Think? Transgender People and the Bible, by Cheryl B. Evans (for Christian family members of transgender people)
  • TRANS/gressive: How Transgender Activists Took on Gay Rights, Feminism, the Media & Congress... And Won!, by Riki Wilchins (published Jun 2, 2017 by Riverdale Avenue Books)
  • A Letter to My Trans Sisters, edited by Charlie Craggs, is a collection of myriad transitions and reflections thereof by women around the world. Beyond validating that there is no one way to transition, this book reminds readers that each trans woman transitions from and into much broader contexts than just their own immediate lives.
  • "You're In the Wrong Bathroom!": And 20 Other Myths and Misconceptions About Transgender and Gender Non-Conforming People, by Laura Erickson-Schroth and Laura A. Jacobs
  • Families in Transition: Parenting Gender Diverse Children, Adolescents, and Young Adults, edited by Arlene Lev and Andrew Gottlieb (https://cup.columbia.edu/book/families-in-transition/9781939594297)
  • Trans Forming Families: Real Stories about Transgendered Loved Ones, 2nd Edition, by Mary Boenke (editor), features first-person accounts by parents, families, and friends of transgender people who have come to accept and embrace their transgender loved ones. 
  • Transitions of the Heart: Stories of Love, Struggle, and Acceptance by Mothers of Transgender and Gender Variant Children, edited by Rachel Pepper